Happy Birthday Dad, You Stupid Alcoholic Old Prick!

It’s my Dad’s birthday soon, and because I don’t leave the house I chose to order him a card off of one of two possible online card ordering websites.

The only problem is, I quite like my Dad – and almost all of the cards available on the sites presuppose that you must hate your Dad.

I think I’ve managed to round it down to three potential cards…

1)

forking

I like the colour scheme on this one, but my Dad’s name isn’t Patrick. Apparently, you can customize the cards, but that isn’t my job. It’s bad enough that I need to choose out the thing, I’m not going to design it as well. If I go for this one, I’ll include the name Patrick – but I’ll also include a deed-poll inside the card, giving my Dad the option to change his name if he feels it suits him.

2)

floyd

This one is an extravaganza of intelligent puns.  I like how it says “Grey Floyd” rather than Pink Floyd, although “Featuring Brian Sutton” lets it down slightly. If you’re lucky enough to have a Dad who’s name is Floyd, then this card would be perfect. I feel like anyone who’s Dad isn’t called Floyd is going to be confused for a few minutes. OLD SIDE OF THE FART is genius pun-work though.

3)

ALCO

I think I’m going to go for this one though. It’s the cheapest & the guy on the front looks most like my Dad.

Happy Birthday Dad!

 

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